So, on the seventh day, internet service was restored.
Since then, I've learned that I have to alter my expectations of service. During the years of Verizon wireless DSL, I was free to roam throughout my house (that's 3 rooms, people) with only my laptop in hand, able to be on the internet regardless of what room I was in.
Those halcyon days are over. In the FairPoint zone, wireless internet means "connected to a wireless modem by a wire." It means hovering, nearly atop the modem, in order to stay connected. And today, it means being disconnected from the internet 3 times in less than an hour, despite being perched less than 3 feet away from the modem.
I've read that FairPoint will declare bankruptcy by the end of the year. I can't imagine it will take that long.