Campaign Insanity

Last week, John McCain assured us that the fundamentals of the economy were basically sound. This week, he’s suspending his presidential campaign to ride his white steed into Washington to save the US economy. One thing is certain; a McCain presidency wouldn’t be dull. No Canadian bacon at breakfast? Bomb Canada!

McCain is suspending his presidential campaign to deal with the financial crisis that he and his cronies helped create. Despite his near miss with the Keating Five, McCain has been shilling for deregulation for years. We just never learn. Sure we learned for a little while, after the Depression, but no matter how many times the free market zombies are slain – they keep coming back to life to tell us that the market works, and deregulation is the key. Now we the taxpayers are being told that we’re going to bail out the financial sector – bail out companies that are failing. We can’t have single payer health care, because that would be socialism – but bailing out Goldman Sachs? We have to do that to “save the economy.” In other words, corporate socialism is essential to our nation. Single payer health care, however, would be the end of us all, it would be….socialism, the next thing to godless Communism.

McCain is suspending his campaign, and has asked to postpone the first presidential debate, because of the financial crisis. Barack Obama has said that now, more than ever, the American people need to hear from the candidates, seeing as how one of them will be responsible for cleaning this mess up. One wonders if, at the first sign of multiple crises would McCain suspend his presidency?

We are looking at a very old man who wants to be president. An old man who has had serious health problems, yet won’t release his medical records. This should tell us something. This old man has recently hired a makeup artist who works on the TV show “American Idol”. He’s paid her over $5,500 for makeup so far. The media that raked John Edwards over the coals for a $400 haircut is surprisingly quiet about McCain and his makeup. Of course when he’s on TV without makeup, he looks a decade older, and shockingly unhealthy. Somehow I’m certain that 5.5 years in a POW camp is the answer to any questions about all that spackle.

It’s long past time to question McCain’s judgment. The Keating Five. The joke he told about Chelsea Clinton. The joke he told about a woman enjoying rape. The cover-up of his wife’s criminal behavior when she was stealing drugs from her non-profit. The angry insults he snarled at his wife in front of reporters in 1992 (too obscene to print). The endless flip flopping on everything he ever held dear, just to become president. In the middle of the Democratic Convention, he panicked, and picked Sarah Palin, a completely unqualified woman, to be his vice president. Now, in the face of a debate, he’s suspending his campaign and bailing out on the debate. It’s clear that the Senate doesn’t need his help – he’s missed 60% of the votes this year. He told us himself that he “didn’t know much about the economy” only a few months ago. Running away from the debate seems to be motivated solely by fear. We are a shallow people. The contrast between a calm, young, tall, elegant man and a frenzied, old, short, stumpy man won’t be pretty. Still – if he’s going to single-handedly turn the economy around, why not send his running mate to the debate? Is this a man who has the judgment and temperament to be president?

We are told that Sarah Palin is ready on day one to be president – yet she isn’t allowed to speak with the press or hold press conferences. Palin is a gift that keeps on giving: the pregnant teenaged daughter, Troopergate, the road to nowhere, the bridge to nowhere, and now Thomas Muthee, the minister who hunted witches in Kenya. There is footage on YouTube (footage that was scrubbed from the Wasilla church website) of Muthee praying over Palin, imploring Jesus to put her in the governor’s mansion, and get her all the money she needed to get there, and to keep her safe from witches. The Palin family is a traveling episode of the Maury Povich show.

One can only imagine the media frenzy that might ensue if there were footage of Obama with a witch doctor. On Fox every night, Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity are still trying to turn Obama’s acquaintance will Bill Ayers into something, still trying to eke out a little more interest in the Reverend Wright story – even though both were played out months ago. Oddly, despite their claims of fairness and balance, a lot of information is missing from their “news” programs. Earlier this week, a kid who was kicked out of school for wearing a tee shirt calling Obama a terrorist’s best friend, was on Hannity’s show, with his father. Hannity went into a tirade and started questioning the kid about Obama and Bill Ayers, even though it was obvious the kid didn’t know what he was talking about. The good news is, that if Obama wins in November, Hannity’s head may explode and put us all out of his misery.

"We should be able to deliver bottled hot water to dehydrated babies." –John McCain, Kenner, Louisiana, June 3, 2008

This was published as a Conway Daily Sun editorial Sept. 26, 2008