What
do we know about change?
He'll
never change.
She's
so changeable.
I
used to really like: he/she/them but they changed.
It's
time for a change.
Nothing
ever changes around here.
I
thought I could change him or her.
Change
is constant.
We
are bombarded with advertising messages about change all the time. Change your
hair color, your car, your deodorant, your image, your décor, your status; with
our product!
The
gurus of self-help pontificate on how to change from within. After a while it all
sounds like bumper sticker slogans.
Then
there's the conventional wisdom about change. “People get more conservative as
they grow older.” I was happy to find studies that show that just isn't so.
More people become far less conservative with age. Time has a way of changing
perspective.
On
a societal level, change and the future were greatly anticipated when I was
growing up. We talked about and imagined the future all the time. We were going
to travel to outer space! We were going to put a man on the moon! We would have
flying cars and live in round houses with robots. Our fashions, TV shows,
movies, and our interior design all reflected the future we were visualizing.
We were excited about what was next.
Along
the way that excitement faded. We did put a man on the moon. It was incredible.
But we also fought wars, perpetuated injustice, and came to accept homelessness
and hunger as permanent conditions here in the wealthiest country in the world.
We've caused permanent damage to our planet and our ecosystem. We don't talk
about the future and the potential for change much any more.
Some
wish to return to a fictionalized version of the past. In this idealized
version of the past, men were “real” men and women knew their place. No one
paid any taxes. Nothing was regulated. The American Dream was within reach for
all who worked for it.
That
none of it was ever true doesn’t matter.
Those who think about the future may
feel as if they’re treading water, trying to prevent further negative change, while
laboring to create a glimpse here and there of something positive and
hopeful.
For
most of us, the core values remain. Love is always better than hate. Peace is
better than war. Education is better than ignorance. Community is better than isolation.
Building strong community is the answer to most of our problems.
We
all change and grow throughout our lives. Some of it is biology. Some of it is
education. Some of it is in reaction to life experience, and some of it is
intentional. If we have self-awareness, we can change how we view the world,
how we relate to other people, and replace some of the programming we may have
gotten as we were growing up.
We
can learn about privilege, and in that learning, change our worldview and our
behavior.
We
can be the changed.
We
bring all that we learn along the way into our families, our circle of friends,
our workplaces, and our communities. Along the way, we encounter those who
don't necessarily share our views and our values. In our polarized and
contentious society, that can lead to conflict. Read the online comment section
of our statewide newspaper for a look at clashing world-views.
I’m
well aware that I’m part of it. What I write is often focused on that clash and
all that is wrong in our world. I have learned this much: a constant diet of
cynicism is bad for the soul and the psyche.
Over
the last two years I’ve spent a lot of time at the NH legislature. I've seen
and heard things that I found upsetting. The ongoing efforts by some to obstruct
and disrupt was not pleasant to watch. It seemed their goal was to perpetuate
the view that government is broken.
Yet
at the same time, I also watched people change their minds about an important
issue. They were given new information in a way that they could be receptive to
it. A number of legislators changed their minds about the death penalty. A
repeal bill cleared the NH House by a huge margin. People were changed. The
process was amazing to watch.
It
all came down to people acting on principle, finding ways to work with people
with whom they had little common ground.
I
spoke with a local freshman legislator about her experience in her first term.
She talked about the committee she is on. It's one of the larger committees,
and filled with some diverse points of view. They have fun, she told me. They
treat one another with respect. Everyone is taken seriously. They work
together.
It’s
easy to make anonymous snarky remarks in the comment section of the UL.
Respectfully listening to one another may not always be easy, but makes working
together possible, and infinitely more rewarding.
As
a Unitarian Universalist, I take my beliefs and values out into the world with
me. There are seven UU core principles. The first is a belief in the inherent
worth and dignity of every person. Some days that’s a real challenge.
BUT
– if we can carry that out into our lives, our workplaces and our communities:
we can create positive change. We can focus on the actual common good, not the
mythology of rugged individualism and bootstraps.
Big
changes are heading our way. The opportunities to do better will keep coming,
and so will the need for change.
© sbruce 2014
Published as a biweekly column in the Conway Daily Sun newspaper.
