Finding Your Inner Unicorn

William Shakespeare wrote: “For the apparel oft proclaims the man.” A more familiar axiom is “clothes make the man.”

We all have favorite clothes. The clothes that make us look and feel like a million bucks. When we wear them, there’s an extra spring in our step – and we project an air of confidence. In the photo attached to this column, I’m wearing a purple silk blouse that was my favorite. It was my lucky shirt. The last time I wore it was to a job interview. I was drinking a cup of coffee in the car, hit a frost heave, and spilled coffee down the front of the shirt. In spite of the big coffee stain, I got the job. The stain never came out.

Clothes serve a variety of functions. They cover us, protect us, and keep us warm and dry. Some of us wear uniforms so that we can be easily identified as a member of the military, or perhaps a fire fighter, EMT, or police officer. Various types of clothing can also be part of ceremonies, rituals, or special occasions. Clothes can reflect how we feel, and just like mom always told you, clothes project a message. We do judge books by their covers.

My granddaughter will soon be seven. She just started second grade. I’ve been doing some back to school/birthday shopping for her. It’s been quite a learning experience.

I traipsed through some stores and then did some online shopping, and found some universal truths. Clothes for girls are mostly awful. There is no shortage of gaudy pink, cheap polyester covered with ruffles and sparkles. Faux worn and torn jeans are a big thing this year. It’s almost impossible to find a plain shirt that isn’t tarted up with lace, sequins or glitter – and that is in addition to the graphics.

Somewhere along the way, Disney decided they could sell the bejeebers out of princess crap, and began to invent new princesses to tie merchandise to, and market the heck out of it to girls and their parents. This seems to have coincided with the backlash against feminism.

Boy’s clothes haven’t changed much over the decades. Their shirts feature superheroes like Spiderman, Batman, or Captain America. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are popular again. There are shirts with dinosaurs or racecars. There are sports themed shirts, with soccer balls or basketballs, or slogans such as, “Start Fast Finish Faster,” or “Any Game Any Time.” Boy’s shirts come in plaid or stripes, and they also come in plain colors. Boys and girls both wear blue. Only girls wear pink.

The graphics on clothing for girls is an entirely different matter.

In my admittedly unscientific study, the number one graphic for a girl’s shirt is a heart. It can be covered with small hearts, or have one large. Some have the word “LOVE” inside the heart. LOVE with a heart shape replacing the O is common. Others have “There is No One Like Me” inside a big heart shape, or “Do What You Love,” inside a graphic heart. Other slogans I found: “Follow Our Dreams, They Know the Way,” “Keep Dreaming and Follow Your Destiny,” “Throw Kindness Around Like Confetti,” “Live, Love, Dream,” “Believe,” “Always Beautiful,” “Happiness is a State of Mind,” “Let Your Heart Shine,” “Lead Your Own Way,” “Let Your Light Shine,” “Happy Girls Shine Brighter,” and “Dream Big, Sparkle More, Shine Bright.” There were shirts with pictures of Barbie, kittens, unicorns, butterflies, or ballerinas. “Find your inner unicorn,” one tee shirt advises. Any sports themed shirts for girls were pink and often involved ruffles. One girls clothing company is called, “Self Esteem,” and produces clothing that seems likely to create just the opposite. Would a boy wear a vest that has tiny writing all over it reading, “Love you to the moon and back?” Do girls require so much extra reassurance that they are loved that it is necessary to print it on their clothing?

There is plenty of money to be made in selling products to girls and women. Not so much for boys and men, because they aren’t taught from the cradle to be insecure. Boys do not wear shirts telling them that happiness is a state of mind. There are no hearts emblazoned upon their clothes, or messages of love. Why doesn’t boys clothing tell them to love, to smile, to sparkle more, or follow their dreams? What kind of message does this clothing send to our girl children? What does it prepare them for? Why does a seven year old need to hear that “happiness is a state of mind?” Are we sending them off to a Zen retreat or preparing them for a lifetime of second-class citizenry?

These girls will grow to adulthood in a world where what they look like is how they are judged. We’re seeing the end result of that in the current endless presidential election cycle. If girls clothing is being designed to reinforce self esteem and steer them toward success we’re already doing something wrong.

All those hearts, all that admonition about love made me wonder. Is love an activity solely for girls?

Judging on the basis of clothing alone, we seem to expect boys to love dinosaurs and sports. We expect girls to love, smile, dream, and sparkle. It explains a lot. Dreaming is good. Dreaming isn’t threatening. One shirt read, “Future Princess” with a slash through the Princess and under it read, “Boss.” If we really want that girl to be a boss, why would the shirt need to even mention princesses? Is this a form of training, or grooming? Do we need to get girls focused on love early so they’ll grow up to love the boys who aren’t being programmed to love? So that they’ll be ready to settle for less?

I haven’t finished shopping, but after all of this, I sent my granddaughter a tee shirt that says, “Future Brain Surgeon.”

If clothes really do make the man (or woman) what kind of men and women are we trying to create?

Published as an op-ed in the September 16 edition of the Conway Daily Sun newspaper 

Wanted: Evangelical UU's

Late in September, I was the guest speaker at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship in Tamworth. I called on my fellow UU’s to fight back against the inflammatory racist and xenophobic rhetoric that are a part of our current national dialogue. Since the shootings in San Bernardino, the hate speech is ratcheting up – and that comes with consequences. This week a sixth grade girl in NY City was beaten up by a bunch of boys who hit her and tried to pull off her hijab while calling her, “Isis.”

A friend in the congregation suggested I publish my sermon as a column. With some adaptation, this is what I said on September 27. At a time when we hear so much angry religious rhetoric perhaps we can all try to be more UU.

After the accident last year, I spent two months in the hospital. I met women who worked there, women from all over the world. Many came here as refugees. There were women from Haiti, who told stories of political unrest and having to move their families to safety. There were women who were bringing up their grandchildren because their children had become addicts. They bathed me and cared for my broken body. They were so kind to me. We humans are capable of such kindness and compassion.

For months I was in an isolated bubble where I didn’t pay that much attention to what was going on in the world. It was my job to heal. It was my job to learn how to stand, and how to walk. As the months went by, little by little I moved back into the world. Then I went back to work, and I was immersed in reality again.

And then along came Donald Trump. He was something of a breaking point.

Racism, bigotry, homophobia, misogyny; all of these things are increasingly tolerated by our society. Throw in some science denial and rewriting of history, and this is a scary time. In an effort to show leadership skills, presidential candidates are trying to outdo one another with racist rhetoric or loathing for the poor. 

It’s time to stop tacitly accepting this. UU’s have a long history of action when it comes to all social justice issues. We also have a reputation for being quiet and relatively unobtrusive in our approach.

We don’t cause scenes or make a mess. We aren’t a big visible presence on the word stage. We don’t have mega churches or a values voter summit, like the Christian right does.

We ought to. Our values include justice, compassion, and love. Inclusion and not exclusion.  At a time where there is so much hate, violence, and ugly rhetoric, it’s time for us to vocalize and apply our UU principles loudly, proudly, and zealously.

As UU’s we are not bound by scripture or dogma. We have our seven principles, the first being our belief in the inherent worth and dignity of every person. We need to try hard to love our neighbors, even the most difficult and bigoted. Love them loudly and proudly. When hate comes to town, we must counter it in the way that Dr. King suggested: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

Our planet is suffering. There is no part of it that isn’t being affected by climate change. Here in the US a particularly virulent form of denial exists, the kind where non-scientists deny science. We need to get out there and preach about that interdependent web. We can’t live without our planet.

Our principles call for justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. That, too, is hard to argue with, but it is not the way that human interaction works these days. The right of conscience. The goal of world community, with peace, liberty, and justice for all. These aren’t feel good phrases. These are values, and they are values that need to be spread around with evangelical zeal.

There are so many angry people in our country, our state, and in our municipalities. You probably have one shouty uncle who rants on your Facebook page or at holiday dinners. You know, the one who thinks the president is a homosexual Muslim communist from Kenya.

It’s easy to ignore the angry. You can unfriend Uncle Al on Facebook. You can’t do is argue with them and have any kind of a reasonable discussion. What we can do is be kind to them. Talk to them – and really listen. Try to understand their fears. It’s harder to hate people when you’re talking to them face to face.

I realize this all sounds kind of humorous, especially coming from me. I am deadly serious. We’re in a mess, people, and love is the only way out.

We UU’s are uniquely qualified to take a greater role. Some of the greatest names in our nation’s history were UUs – names like Emerson, Thoreau, Vonnegut, Seeger, Anthony, Stone, Adams, Cummings, Bradbury, Darwin, and Nightingale. UU’s have been visionaries and activists. We still are. We’re just modest about it. I am suggesting that we need to speak up when there is injustice and hateful rhetoric on the national, state, and local level.

We need to get zealous. We need to become fundamentalist Unitarian Universalists, ready to preach the inherent worth and dignity of every person. Ready to preach about loving our planet. Wendell Berry said, “Whether we and our politicians know it or not, Nature is party to all our deals and decisions, and she has more votes, a longer memory, and a sterner sense of justice than we do.”

People, the planet, equality and justice. These are the biggest things we face. They are all things we UUs have been talking about for years. Who better to lead the way in our communities than us?

We’ve been working quietly in the background for a long time. What’s next will make us uncomfortable – and that is true whether we do anything or not. We’re going to be just as uncomfortable if we stay in the background, so we might as well make some noise.

Unitarian Universalist 7 Principles:

1. The inherent worth and dignity of every person;

2. Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;

3. Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;

4. A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;

5. The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;

6. The goal of world community with peace, liberty and justice for all;

7. Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

This was published as an op-ed in the December 11 edition of the Conway Daily Sun newspaper 

Cantwell Puts on His Cop Killing Cheerleader Uniform - Again

You remember Chris Cantwell. He's the guy who was kicked out of the Free State Project around this time last year. Cantwell was getting loud about how cops should be killed, and poor Carla Gericke, the president of the Free State Project was busy shrieking about how bad it was that the Concord Police Dept. considered the possibility that Free Staters could be potential domestic terrorists. The last thing Carla needed was for that to be proven true by Chris Cantwell, so he was ousted. 

Since then, he's aired his views on how cops should die on a number of occasions. He blamed  Brentwood Police Officer Steve Arkell for his own death. Officer Arkell was killed in the line of duty. When Justin Bourque went on a RCMP  killing spree in New Brunswick, Cantwell cheered him on, as he applauded Jerad and Amanda Miller for killing cops in Las Vegas. This led to him getting kicked off CopBlock, but that was purely cosmetic. CopBlock wants to keep their memes popular amongst "the slaves." 

Cantwell may have been kicked out of the FSP in a big public attempt to whitewash their public image, but it was all for show.  Cantwell lives across the street from the Church of the Free Load in Keene. Free Keene cult leader Ian Bernard begged Cantwell to come back to Keene.

He's still cheering on murder, as you can see here at his latest blog diatribe: Chris Cantwell - PA Troopers Got Off Easy:

Every traffic stop he engaged in was a death threat. Every arrest a kidnapping. Every fine a theft. He was paid through taxation, a global system of coercion that presently enslaves the entire human race. He was an active participant and willing co-conspirator in the system of oppression that makes wars possible. Should Dickson have pulled you over on the highway, and you attempted to evade him, he would use whatever level of force was necessary to stop you, up to and including running your car off the road and shooting you in the face, with a gun you were forced to pay for.

And

If his death prevented a single traffic stop, then his killer is a hero. If it saved the taxpayers of Pennsylvania a single penny, then his killer is a freer of slaves. If it makes one young adult think twice about becoming a cop, then his killer saved an immeasurable number of people from theft, assault, imprisonment, and death.

Our Free Stater wannabe overlords love to natter on about how they're all about peace and love, and claim adherence to something they call the non-aggression principle. 

It's all a bunch of road apples. Scratch that facade of peace and love and what you get is far, far beyond the mainstream. 



Update - it seems Cantwell has taken a cult name.

From his Facebook page:

While we're on the topic of Free Staters....

NH GOP Chair Jennifer Horn :

Horn said the group’s philosophy is “something that’s right in line with the Republican Party.”   

"For the most part," explained Horn, "the Free State Project has been very much a movement with character that I think has probably been a positive thing in our state.”

Is cop killing right in line with the GOP philosophy, Jennifer? 

Those Peace Loving Free Staters

Free Keener and US presidential candidate Darryl W. Perry's candidate website (be sure to check out the platform and issues section) has the sub-heading of "Peace, Freedom, Love & Liberty. 

Darryl Perry is part of the Free State Project, a group of armed insurrectionists invading NH with the intention of colonizing, taking over, and dismantling our state government, then threatening secession. The Free Staters always tout their desire for peace, even as they insist on carrying weapons. They love to natter on about the "non-aggression principle" - a bit of libertarian philosophy that they all claim to embrace. Despite this belief in non-aggression, one of their members murdered his son in August before turning his gun on himself. Members of the cult also routinely use violent rhetoric and threats against those who dare criticize them. 

Peace is a word that the FSP loves to use. They aren't part of an organized peace effort in NH, or anywhere else. It's just a word that they use as an attempt to make themselves seem benign. Guns are one of their primary concerns. They think that if they throw the word peace around often enough, we won't notice the contradiction. People of peace are not obsessed with owning and carrying weapons. 

Darryl Perry and his fellow miscreants in Keene declared their home a parsonage, in the hopes of avoiding taxes. I have great admiration for people of principle who refuse to pay taxes in opposition to war. They go to prison. It's honorable. The Free Keeners are just unprincipled grifters who expect everyone else to pick up the tab. Their idea of civil disobedience is writing on the pavement in Keene parks with chalk. They're not exactly competing with MLK. 


Darryl Perry is a prolific writer - one who claims to be an award winner. After looking through several of his publications I would award him a proofreader. But I'm not here to criticize his writing skills - I'm here to talk about content. 

Given the emphasis Darryl W. Perry has placed on "Peace, Freedom, Love & Liberty" I was surprised to find this  paragraph as I looked at one of his books:

Yep, that's right. "While I support peaceful means to reclaim freedom, I'm not opposed to using force if necessary."
You can find it on page 52 of Perry's book 1776 & Today: Why We Need A New American Revolution. 

That's some real peace, freedom, love & liberty at work right there, Darryl. You're bound to be a contender for a Nobel Peace Prize. 

Darryl W. Perry is not the only one. I've written about early Free State Project signer Vin Suprynowicz who wrote a fanboy paean to domestic terrorist Carl Drega. Muni Savyon taught us plenty about the FSP and the non-aggression principle when he shot his nine year old son 6 times. The Free Staters made a big public show of excommunicating one of their own,  Chris Cantwell, for his comments:

The government doesn't much care if you are peaceful or not, all they care about is if you are obedient. Free Staters are not being labeled as terrorists because they are violent; they are being labeled as terrorists because they are disobedient. Being violent is not a prerequisite for government violence being used against a person, and in the entire history of statism, it never has been. The only prerequisite of government violence is disobedience, and in entirely too many cases, even obedient slaves are harassed, assaulted, kidnapped, or murdered by government agents.

So what to do? It’s a terribly unpopular thing to say, but the answer, at some point, is to kill government agents. The government agents know that, and that’s why they want a tank.

Careful Darryl. You've got competition for that Nobel Peace Prize. 

On a site called Liberty is my Homie-Tats, we see the ink that some of our peace loving Free Stater friends are sporting, including this: 

Because nothing says "peace, freedom, liberty &  love" like BORN TO KILL. 


This is what is under the mask. They do not come in peace.